Dear Karly,

There was so clearly now a reason, back when I was just a seventeen year old high school senior and you were a nineteen year old friend of my best friend, that we met briefly when I came to visit Rhea. Of all her friends, you were always my favorite. Of all her friends, I would ask about you from time to time the most. It's not lost on me that that was God orchestrated, that the pull I felt in my heart towards you would serve as a bridge of connection, understanding, and reassurance ten years later. 

You've given me the one pure thing no one else has been able to provide: true understanding.

Thank you for the card, thank you for the Starbucks gift card, thank you for knowing what to say and what not to say, both equally as important things. Thank you for the thousands of answered text messages, of the reassurance that I'm not totally crazy, maybe only just a smidge bit.

Thank you for simply being there, providing hope that my dream is on the other side, that it is possible, and that other people are stupid and need to stfu. I hope everyone on this "journey" has a Karly.

Thank you, and I truly do love you.

Dear Dr. Crawford,

I will forever be thankful for Instagram.

I wonder if those two creators of this app we log in and out of every day knew they would be changing lives, creating families and relationships and partnerships and all kinds of good in this world, just by allowing others to share a few photos and a few words with friends and strangers alike?

I can't remember what caused me to click on the #ivfjourney hashtag one day, long before we had even officially taken the first step into this dungeon of heartbreak and, what feels like, solely doom. Maybe it was a premonition, maybe it was pure curiosity, maybe it was fate, or maybe it was God nudging me along, carefully and sneakily laying the path that would bring me to you, right when we needed you the most.

Thank you for always answering each and every question of mine with a patience that only a mama of two young ones and only who truly cares can have. Thank you for entering each room each time with a smile on your face and a true sense of joy in your voice. I can hear you right now: "Hiiiii! How are you!" Thank you for the gentle nudges of encouragement and the confident expressions of what you knew to be true, of what you believed in even when it was hard for us to believe ourselves. Thank you for loving your craft, for continuously striving to create true miracles for so many of us, for creating a space that feels safe and hopeful when the rest of the world outside of that office can feel so cruel and heartbreaking, void of all hope. 

Thank you - we will forever be grateful for you and we will forever love you with the deepest of thanks and awe.

Dear Dean & Julie,

You two were an ever moving presence through many of our lives. Frequently in the cafeteria during lunch at school, at every football game and event in town, sure to be there every Monday night. You made summer trips fun and hard moments less hard. You opened your beautiful home to so many of us, yet somehow made each one of us feel like the only guest of the evening. And that's just the way y'all are: generous with your time, love, and resources, helpful and hospitable and honest with the company you keep. We were all lucky to have you both.

Thank you both for believing in me, for believing my story has a purpose, for taking me on my one and only (I may still be afraid) tiny airplane ride. Thank you for giving me a chance.

Thank you & I love y'all.

Dear Colton,

I can feel your big bear hugs and see your joyful smile over here, years later and miles away from the days spent growing up together.

To try and imagine our childhood without you feels seriously cloudy. You made everything more fun, a little bit louder, a little bit funnier. A hug from you - those kind where you wrap your entire arms around the lucky hug recipient and grab your own wrists as you hold on tight - made the worst days feel a little less alone, a little less cold and empty. I can see you laughing at your own jokes right now, or shuffling down the hallway between Logan and Luke, again laughing as you go, and that's all it takes to make me smile and giggle too, even all this time later.

Thank you & I love you.

Dear Jenna,

I prayed for a friend like you long before we had each other, long before I knew just how fully you would fill that hole and that yearning in my soul.

Your friendship is sweeter than I even prayed for. More full, more joyful, more faith challenging and building, more delicious ;), more understanding, more sassy and more stylish than I could have dreamed up - and you know how I can dream. You inspire me daily with your faith and the way you stand rooted in your beliefs, even when the world may try to convince you otherwise. You know the truth and the one who is true, so what else could matter? 

Your talents truly know no end, and it inspires me and fills my heart each time I get to witness you living each one out. You're a masterpiece, JP, and I can't wait to watch you shoot those stars. ILYSM.

Thank you & I love you.

Dear Wimberley,

I never knew how much I needed you until we found ourselves here, nestling in amongst your creeks and your big cypress trees that August.

You felt like coming home. Not just to Texas, but to a place where my soul could find rest again, where I could dig my heels in and create some roots as deep as those that line the river that runs through town. The sky that stretches out over the old buildings that make up your city limits feels both safe and limitless at the same time, like a place where I can dream as big as I desire, and then a place I can come back to when the dreams get too tiring or too heavy. You feel like home.

I may have loved the HEB about you first, but I quickly came to love the people that call you home, too. They're the best kind of people: Texans, warm and welcoming with a genuine shake of the hand and a nod hello. Their homes quickly become your home too, and your home becomes their new home, too. Your people have now replaced that lovely HEB as my favorite thing about you, Wimbo.

You remind me where I came from, yet provide a newness and a change that my ever searching soul needs. I never could have suspected the subtle ways in which you would soften my rough patches or the retreat you would come to provide, but I'm thankful each time I look out the windows of our home or drive through town and over your waterways. We've found our home.

Thank you, Wimberley, and I love you.

Dear Starbucks,

Besides the fact that you absolutely must put some form of invisible liquid crack in your green iced teas, because there really is no other explanation for how addicting it is - which I am waiting for the fact of its addiction to be scientifically proven, by the way (and don't you tell me one more time that it's so good because of your triple filter osmosis water blahblahblah) - , I started a love affair with you on the corner of Broughton and Bull St when I was nineteen years old and I don't ever expect my love for you to come to an end (unless, of course, my theory of liquid crack is actually true and ousted, then I guess I'll have to quit you because I'll be in recovery for withdrawals and what other choice would I have?).

In college, you were just a place for my friends and I to hang (your vision manifested in real life, Mr. Schultz). Those big comfy chairs and windows overlooking the most bustling street of Savannah gave us a place to rest our tired feet, recharge our already wired brains, and a place to drive our relationships home. I can still see the afternoon we all hung out on the bench seating along that back wall - stacking empty holiday cups to see how high we could get them, laughing when they fell. How bloody annoying must we have been?

I'm not sure when you started to turn into something deeper than a fun and central place to hang out in between classes. Maybe when you became Brinton and mines 'thing.' Maybe when I realized Danyell and Jazzmyn were real friends and not just those cute and friendly baristas behind the counter. Maybe when you became our favorite place to plan our wedding. Regardless of when, I like you and I love you for many reasons, and I'm not afraid to deny some of my originality that I usually pride myself on by standing on top of the Starbucks mountaintop and declaring my love for you.

Thank you for providing a service that is 9 times out of 10 consistently spot on, and usually provided with a smile that truly makes me feel welcome there. After all, isn't that the business goal every business in the world should strive for? Thank you for creating your stores with the community in mind. Thank you for being and standing for a place of further community within the natural community already existing outside of your shops. Thank you for pushing past the difficult days of your youth, so the youth in their difficult days could come find solace amidst your four walls.

Thank you, Starbucks, and I really addictingly love you.

Also, just kidding about the crack thing, you know. I just think you're THAT good, Starbs. 

But also, what else do you put in your pumpkin bread? Because that DEFINITELY has some kind of good and delicious drug in it. Maybe it's just sugar. Steve Shultz, if you're reading this, can I please come tour the Starbucks headquarters? I mean seriously, it's a dream of mine. 

Dear Ted,

You were the first glimpse of what was possible, of what existed outside of the tiny towns that I had always known. Meeting you ignited a sense of hope for my future, a joyful anticipation of what could be, a soft blooming from the frozen weeds of my heart. You gave me a gift you'll never fully realize the treasure of, but I do, and I am so, so grateful. 

Thank you, and I'll always love you.

Dear Precious,

When I think of you, all I can do is laugh. Pure joy immediately floods my mind, and your smiling face pops into my head. Your joy is radiating off of your face, always has, always will, and starts flooding my senses with elation, laughter, smiles, memories.

You are pure joy, Precious. I remember being scared of you in junior high. But you're like a Doberman puppy at eight months old. Maybe a bit intimidating on the outside, but pure, goofy joy on the inside, protected by an outside armor of strength.

You used to - do you remember this? - pick me up over your shoulders and swing me around? You would come out of nowhere and before I knew it, I was upside down, swinging around, laughing like I was five, with a love growing and beating inside my chest for you that still beats with the same fervor and thrill so many years later.

Thank you for making me feel protected, loved, and accepted over the years. It's a gift you gave without even probably realizing it, huh? Sometimes those are the best.

Thank you and I love you.

Dear Sara,

Several years ago when I used to think about you, I thought about you in pretty much one context: Zach's friend from Coleman. Now when I think about you, which is often, and always with wonder and a smile, I think about you as my friend, and Zach's friend from Coleman, too.

I love that God brought us back together again in an unlikely way, in an unlikely time, and in an unlikely friendshIp that would have been hard for me to imagine as a six year old watching my older brother and his friends hang out in the living room, most likely with a sense of awe on my face.

I'm so glad and thankful for that Starbucks date that reconnected us and strengthened the ties of this friendship we get to call ours. Breakfast and lunch dates with you light me up and bring me so much joy. Our conversations inspire me and leave me feeling capable, confident, and truly known. What a gift it is to leave your people feeling better than before they came to you. Your beauty is all over and even in the midst of frustration or struggle, you still manage to shine and sparkle and illuminate all that's around you. It must be that special Sara thang you got goin' on, and a quality I know you'll never lose in this wild, wild world.

Thank you & I love you.

Dear Mrs. Peschel

Thank you for all of the hair braids over the years, the big belly laughs, the comforting hugs, the encouraging words and the smiles that light up your face. Thank you for welcoming me in, for supporting me and for loving me. Thank you for your daughter, who has been such a light in my life, and who most definitely gets her big laugh and strong spirit from her just as strong mama.

Thank you & I love you.

Dear Tom Petty,

Back in the day, years ago, during one of the more particular bouts of “Allie hates life and it seems to return the feeling” periods, my dad slipped your Wildflowers album with a sweet note on top of it into my bright yellow bedroom. This album and dad’s note came right around the time when I was finding as much solace as possible in music and in other peoples words, and this album is truly the first and only one to change my life. From the very first split second I heard it, Wildflowers became the vision for my life. It became my lifeline to a future I hoped existed. It became the words and the story I would remind myself of in my darkest of moments, that year and every year since. It became my reminder of hope and of promise.

You honestly felt like a cool old friend, like a wise and awesome old rocker who understood. Dad and I danced along to your voice at my wedding, singing that same song from that same album dad introduced me to so many years before, singing the promise of my life on one of the best nights of my life. Your voice and your words and your thoughts have kept me company on many car drives and work days and moments small and big for so many years. Your concerts have time and time again been my favorite of all favorites. When dad and I saw you perform in Houston this past spring, we stood up among the seated when you sang Wildflowers and I had tears in my eyes and a tug on my spirit. I felt pride and ownership of that song and a dizzying love for that man, that stranger, you, up there singing. I felt waves of grace and mercy and brilliance in your words. That particular concert has since come to mean more and more to me with each passing day, and with your own recent journey out of this world, that concert and you will forever remain at the top. You once said “music is pure and it’s real. It moves, it heals.”

Tom Petty, you moved me and you healed me and I’ll love you forever and ever and ever and ever.

Thank you and I love you.

Dear Kelsey,

I admired you from afar, and then that day on our first morning breakfast that felt like it was our hundredth morning brunch, I loved you from the get-go.

You feel like a friend I've known for ages, not just a few months. Your heart is one of the most encouraging, life affirming beating organs I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I wish I could bottle up all of the goodness that surrounds you, if only to sprinkle it back on you on the days you're feeling less than.

I'm so thankful for the few times we've spent together so far. They're rejuvenated my soul and truly felt like a well of fresh water. Your faith and reassurance during the season of my life in which we first met has meant more to me than you'll know. Thank you, and I love you. And I think you're the most badass creative inspiration in all of Austin. For real, my friend.

Dear Kadie,

I knew when I met you that random December day in Austin that there was something about you. You were magnetic from the beginning, with this calm confidence about you that left me wanting to both call you a friend and admire you from afar.

I'm glad I've gotten to do the former in those years since we first met. I love that you work with your soul and create from a place of deep understanding of the things around you - books, art, culture, a business, an individual. You take the time to cultivate a knowledge for the things and places that make up your days, and in doing so you inspire me to chase more intentionally and with a sureness that only comes from digging deep.

Your confidence in me and support for me has fueled many long days and saved me amidst some of those "what the hell am I doing?" moments. While I wish our coffee dates here and there could be moved to a monthly or so basis, each time spent in your company refuels my soul and inspires me to keep dreaming beyond my dreams, and I'm always so grateful for your friendship, guidance, and wisdom. You're a true gem, and one I'm beyond thankful to have the pleasure of knowing. I love you.

Dear Rachel,

Rael, I can hear your big loud laugh from here. It's contagious, quite like your goofy and happy spirit always has been. There are so many memories and times that would have lacked a pivotal source of fun and silliness had it not been for you. Thank you for being there through it all, for providing so many moments of joy.

Thank you & I love you.

Dear Savannah,

You shaped me and you moved me and you loved me and you made me.

I love you so. You are and will forever be my city. I came into myself beneath your mossy trees. Your cobblestone streets taught me how to run, both literally and figuratively, towards the things and the people that give me life.

You showed me a world of people and ideas and attitudes and clothes and lifestyles that I always wanted but didn’t know where or how to find in my small little Texas town. I forged deep friendships and relationships in between Jones St. and Broughton, over iced chais at Paris Market and Starbucks, through drunken nights at Murphy's and sunny afternoons spent at Forsyth.

I fell in love in between art classes and beside the beach that we called ours. I watched my friends fall in love amongst the magic of your charm, too. I watched us all make a home for ourselves, together as friends and separately as individuals from across the world, each reaching you from a corner opposite of the next, yet each of us finding our own place within your sun dappled streets. You welcomed us with such an open heart and let us devour you with such hungry energy, such passion in our words and in our movements and in our desires.

A part of my heart learned to beat, wholly and loudly and fiercely, while under your watch. It’s as if every day you were whispering “go on, give it a try. I’ll be here if it works and I’ll be here if it doesn’t work.” And then if it did work, whether it was an art project or a friendship or a race or an outfit or a meal, the sun seemed to make that building across from Poetter Hall shimmer a little bit brighter, or the line at Zunzi’s would only be a few people deep, those flags flying high with promise, or our favorite professor would cancel class for the afternoon and suddenly we would find ourselves on the way out to Tybee, windows down, music up loud, big smiles across our face. The whole world was before and for us. 

And then if it didn’t work, whether it was an art project or a person or a night out or whatever, the evening lights inside the homes along Gordon and Jones and Gaston would seem to flicker, like a little wave of encouragement saying “it’s okay, you. chin up.” Or the same man who read the morning paper with his coffee in Gaston square and the older woman who always walked her little white pup, the same ones you always saw at the exact same time in the exact same squares every Monday through Thursday on the way to your eight AM, would say “hello” a bit louder and would smile a little bit wider, like they always knew when a college girl felt a little homesick or a little defeated. The baristas you would come to know and love and call friends would give you one on the house just because. Somehow, you always had a way - a way of building us up so we could fly, a way of comforting us as we fell, a way of convincing us to do it all over again and again and again.

No matter where I go in this world, you truly never feel too far away. I can still breathe in the thrill of wine walks with my best friend through your dark squares, I can still hear our voices high and silly and mighty as we laughed and talked and dreamed together. I can still place the exact moment I knew my husband was “the one,” I can still feel the heat from that summer day and can still taste the salt from the wave that came barreling at us as we crashed in your ocean and played like kids. I can still feel the promise of an entire future ahead as I close my eyes and walk down Broughton Street. I can still smell that old familiar smell of Bergen, a mixture of darkroom chemicals and the must of an old Savannah building. I can still feel the thrill of knowing I was home, both within my soul and within your historic streets, of knowing I was exactly where I was created to create.

You will forever be one of my most favorite cities. You will forever be the one that shaped my future, that took my past and created a tidal wave of hope from nothing. You will forever be home.

Thank you and I love you. 

Dear Peter,

When Rhea was a freshman in high school, she was committed to coming home each day and telling my seventh grade tormented self about the happenings at Bellville High. I am sure I probably threatened her with her life if she didn't account every day in detail. Among those happenings was always a cute older boy named Peter Krol. Of the things I paid attention to, her recountings of the cute older boys were definitely at the top of the list. If not the tippity top. Which is why it still makes me smile and laugh that out of all the men in this world, that one she talked about her freshman year in high school is the one she created her life with.

She, and God and the universe, couldn't have picked a better man. The way you love Rhea makes me happier than even The Hill used to make me. Thank you for welcoming me as a somewhat of a package deal with Rhea. Thank you for talking about Zach, for never squirming away. Thank you for rescues at the cemetery and always being a voice of reason. Really, couldn't have picked a better man even if I picked him myself.

The role you helped walk Rhea into as a mother has been one of my favorite things to witness in this lifetime. Watching you both become parents to Emma has been an honor and a joy like no other. Thank you for loving my two girls so well, for providing for them and, quite literally, building a home and a life that will see so much happiness and love and laughs it makes this hardened old soul tear up just to think about. You're a special one, and I'm so glad we get to call you ours (what did I tell you? package deal, remember?).

Thank you and I love you, Petey.