Zach always told me to “find a hobby.” How stupid is that? What kind of kid has a hobby? Why was it so important for me to find a stupid hobby in the first place? He said it’s because I sat around thinking too much. He said I needed to get out, do something and enjoy doing that something and stop thinking so hard and so much about everything. Kind of sounds spot on, huh?
Sometimes I think Zach sent you to me. Sometimes, especially in those early days, I wish I could scream up at him "Is this a hobby yet?! Are you happy with this hobby?! Is that what you freaking meant?!"
But I know I don't, and didn't, need to do that. After all these years, after abusing you, after using you, after growing tired of you, after growing tired by you, you're still the one thing I can do in this life that brings me total peace, that quiets the never ending stream of thoughts within my head.
You're still one of my favorite ways to view the world, one of my favorite ways to express my gratitude for the mighty things. Would you look at the way the light shines on that window sill? Would you look at the way Brinton cocks his head to the side sometimes? Would you look at the way the sea envelops the earth?
I'm so glad you found me and I found you. Thank you for saving my life, for giving me a purpose and a direction. I will always, always love you.